Self Love

Now then! A month or so ago I was tagged by Angela (@_unapologetica) for a Self Love post and in that month or so I’ve been up, down, left, right – basically all over the place but the last week or so I’ve settled and felt the best I have for a long time (shout out to my new meds). Not normally one to be involved in a tagged post but seen as it’s for Angela and she has been so supportive towards me and many others, it’s the least I can do….so here goes

1. What is the one thing getting you down at the moment?

Erm….. nothing at the moment I’d say. Next question!!

I may say nothing at the minute but it’s more like nothing I’m not handling. This weird feeling has been hovering over me for the last week or so – happiness! and its fucking fantastic, scary at times. Seemingly waiting for the impending doom but I’m getting on with getting on and all is good. Said goodbye to my Moo (daughter) yesterday as she goes back to her Mums and that would’ve normally sent me into a downward spiral. But like I say – I’m handling it

What is something that makes you happy?

Now I could cliche this up and say my Moo and leave it there. This is not to say she doesn’t make me happy. When I have my Moo, it’s the happiest parts of the week and I love her more than anything in the world – but shouldn’t that me the automatic case? (says the man who tried to kill himself and never see her again) I was very ill then.

I truly know I’m happy when I’m in the kitchen, music on and cooking up a storm – preferably with friends, wine and talking shit.

Name 3 guilty pleasures

  1. Watching any and all documentaries about different civilisations of the past be it Aztec, Incan, Egyptian, Romans, Viking, etc ( Vikings are my faves and maybe not a civilisation, but!). I’m fascinated by how they achieved what they achieved and all the Gods, beliefs and rituals and such
  2.  Archaeology – more of the same as above really but to be able to find things thousands of years old buried away and be able to bring it life and tell how these people lived. I hate the thought of all the tomb raiding that went on in Egypt, Mexico, Peru, all over the world. Oh, to be a early explorer too. Can you imagine leaving England and landing in these wonderful and mysterious lands around the world without any clue what could be there
  3. Rom – coms. Some favourites – 2 Weeks Notice, Pretty Woman, While You Were Sleeping, You’ve Got Mail and many more but going off the top of my head and in usual style when you have to think of something my mind goes blank

What one thing would you like to improve about yourself ?

I suppose the beauty of this question is that as a 36 year old, I’m pretty set with my physical appearance so I’d not change anything about that but definitely want to improve my self confidence around new people/strangers. I’m an awkward little so and so in new surroundings because I talk a lot of shit to my mates and I worry to new people I’ll come across a bit weird!

When was the last time you belly laughed?

Just the other night I was sat with a girl (eewww) a couple of bottles of wine and…..Naked Attraction. Now I’d normally avoid these kind of shows and generally T.V at all cost but she promised me i’d enjoy it and I did! And I’m not saying we sat there laughing at the peoples bodies it was more some of the characters on the show and the way the host joined in with the fun. Yeah, enjoyed it and had a right laugh

What is your biggest insecurity/fear?

I didn’t write these questions so is it insecurity or fear?! Biggest fear – deep open sea water! Who the fuck knows what’s down there !!! So much undiscovered things in the ocean. Nope, nope, nope….nope

Biggest insecurity? Not meeting/reaching expectations I guess. I’m 36 – am I living the life I thought i would be by this age? hell no. Story of my life really, I should have done better and people most probably thought I would have done better. I fucked up and I’m trying my best to rectify that

Name a song that always cheers you up

Biz Markie – Just A Friend

There’s no story really to why this song makes me happy but it goes on nearly every playlist I make and I sing it at the top of my voice and if I’m out on a walk i have to hold it in ! The video is amazing and the skit at the start of it is amazingly late 80’s/early 90’s Its got a piano, a nice little beat and I just love it. Always guarantees to bring a smile to face. Give it listen see if it can you too

Name 3 things you like about yourself 

  1. I like to think I’m a easily approachable kind of guy always got a shoulder or ear for anyone who needs one
  2. I’m fiercely loyal to my mates (caused many a problem with the ex) not in a I’m off out the piss way but I’m a great believer in not leaving friends behind when you get in a relationship – cmon you all know people like that!?  I will drop anything at a moments notice to be there for them if they need me. If you fuck with them, you fuck with me!
  3. My lightheartedness (again, says the guy who wanted to kill himself!) but i will try and cheer up anyone around me anyway I can (uncle nobhead)

What is a achievement that has made you proud of yourself this year ? 

This happened today. I’m running for a Community Representative role at Navigo, a local mental health care organization that I’ve had the misfortune but at the same time being fortunate to use their services its no exaggeration that they helped save my life. So I’ve decided to run for Community Representative because I want to help give back what they did for me and help others in my beloved Great Grimsby ( really is called that !) It goes to vote so today the campaign started and I had to stand up and say why people should vote for me. Now this is something so far out of my comfort zone but if I want to make a difference I’ve got to do things that might be difficult for me but impossible for others. So I stood up, took no notes with me and spoke from my heart. My legs were visibly shaking like mad but what I said seemed to go down well – so that is something I’m very proud of

Tell us your happiest memory

Ohhh me no likey this question ! My happiest memory is my wedding day! My marriage may of gone to shit not very long afterwards but that day and the days after are very fond memories. Anyone reading this planning a wedding, worry not it all goes well on the day, don’t waste needless time worrying about little things no guest will even notice. Enjoy the day and the high you feel for the days afterwards.  And that’s enough of that question, I’m off to listen to Biz Markie


Thanks for reading if you got this far and thanks ( I think) to @_unapologetica for the nomination. I’m not gonna tag anyone to do this as its not my style but I can highly recommend giving it a go , it was fun to do trying to write about yourself is hard but you might figure some things out. I did.

Take care, all the best

Peace and love