Urgh Mondays

Now then! Its Monday morning and as most of you are cursing it, I would love to be going to work this morning. It’s been 5 months of no work for me now and I’m fortunate to have a job to go back to. In my dark times I wouldn’t turn up and I wouldn’t ring in to tell them, didn’t want to speak to people. Just wanted to lie in bed thinking shall I, should I, when and where to do ‘it’ (kill myself!) let me tell you, there’s not many places in the average bedroom to hang yourself! (so I googled it and got some fantastic tips!) its impossible to stop such sites, I know, because there’s much worse things on the web but the harder we make it to access these sites the better. If I got a call or message while a work day I would make up a excuse that there was a delivery to unload (forklift driver) and say how shit work is today via text message! that at least kept people at bay till 16:30 (my finishing time) I’d even put my work clothes on at that time in case someone popped round. Had to give the illusion everything is ok! Then I’d make up excuses to get rid of people so I can be left alone.

Now, I work for a small family run business and this family are Brethren. I on the other hand am a dirty atheist and can’t turn to the big guy upstairs for help.  They said they’d pray for me and whatnot which is…………nice!

I wouldn’t blame them or fight it if they got rid of me. My last days work for them I was meant to be taking some products to Scunthorpe Hospital and I just couldn’t or didn’t want to be there anymore. I’d also decided good places around the warehouse to do ‘it’ ! and I just walked out without saying a word to anyone got in my car, drove home called  a friend (she came round  and I went a bit nuts and locked myself in my bedroom ) she did the only thing she could, called an ambulance and within no time at all the police and ambulance service are barging my door open to get me! (top tip for anyone wanting the police quick!) I will touch on what happened after that at a later date.

What I’m trying to say after being slightly side tracked is; let work know, let your doctor know and if needs be get your doctor to get in contact with your work.

People use migraines not to go to work, you wanna try going with depression!

Let work know and you know what I’m gonna say next………………… talk, talk and talk again (I can feel a hashtag coming!)

Have a good day

Peace and love

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